“I should have come home,” he said now.
“Yes.”
“I should have left before the dinner even started.”
“Yes.”
He rubbed both hands over his face. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
I did. That was the whole problem.
“You were thinking your mother would be upset,” I said. “And somewhere along the way, keeping her from being disappointed became more important to you than keeping me from being alone.”
His eyes met mine. Neither of us said anything else. My father came back into the room ten minutes later, and the conversation ended without resolving anything.
That night, Grant slept in the guest room. I didn’t ask him to. He didn’t ask to stay in ours. For the two days that followed, we settled into something quiet and careful and entirely new to us — an arrangement neither of us had a name for yet.
Grant changed diapers. He learned to warm bottles of expressed milk without scalding them. At two in the morning on the third night, I found him standing beside the bassinet, just watching our son breathe.