She’d understood me better than I’d ever given her credit for.
Then I reached the line that stopped me cold.
I hope motherhood does not teach you to disappear into other people.
I lowered the pages. Micah slept on with both arms flung above his head, entirely unaware of the sentence hanging in the air above him.
Love will ask things of you, she’d written. Marriage will ask things of you. Children will ask things of you. Family will sometimes need more than you believe you have left to give. But love is not proven by becoming invisible. And independence is not proven by refusing to be helped. The difficult work is learning the difference.
I sat there until nearly two in the morning. She never told me to leave Grant. She never told me to forgive him either. She wrote about choices. About honesty. About resentment beginning exactly where honest conversation stops. About how people sometimes hurt the ones they love most, not because the love was ever missing, but because fear had gotten tangled up inside it.