I ended up staying in the hospital for two nights. Thankfully, the bleeding stopped the following day. When they removed the gauze, it was almost as painful as when it had been inserted. Eventually, I was discharged. But because I had told my parents I was staying at a friend’s house, I went home and kept everything to myself. I didn’t talk about it with them—or anyone in my family.
Later, when I spoke to friends, I realized how varied first experiences can be. Some said it hurt. Some said they felt uncomfortable. Some cried. It made me realize how little open, honest conversation there is about this topic.
What I learned from that experience was incredibly important. I learned about the necessity of foreplay, of being mentally and physically ready, of feeling safe and comfortable. Without those things, sex can become not just unpleasant—but harmful.
