It was not that.
I wanted them to be standing in a room with their son’s photograph on a table when they found out, and I wanted about twenty people to be there when it happened.
That is what I actually did.
My father came out onto that porch and took hold of my wrist in front of all of them and said:
Ten years. And you come back today, of all days.
And he was not wrong. He was the only person on that porch who was not wrong about anything.
It has been fourteen months.
We go about every six weeks. It is eight hours and Leo sleeps most of it.
My father and I are not fixed and I do not know if we will be. He has apologised once, properly, at a kitchen table, and then not been able to look at me for about a day afterwards.