Instinct overrode exhaustion.
Years of service as a noncommissioned officer demanded that I rise from the worn sofa.
“Sit down, Lauren.”
Richard threw his hand backward, palm flat, blocking my view.
He didn’t even bother turning toward his heavily pregnant daughter.
The gesture wasn’t protective.
It was how he commanded a disobedient animal.
My grief didn’t matter.
My presence barely mattered.
“I’ll handle this,” he grunted, expanding his chest until he filled the doorway.
He apparently believed he could intimidate commissioned officers the same way he bullied teenage mechanics at his garage.
To Richard, military uniforms were merely government-funded work clothes. He likely imagined a casualty notification could be negotiated like an overpriced transmission repair.
But military discipline didn’t accommodate his ego.
The captain ignored his posturing.
His gaze moved past Richard’s shoulder and found mine, carrying unmistakable sorrow.
“Non-commissioned officer Ellis.”
His voice cut through the stale room.
Firm.
Controlled.
Unyielding.
Richard opened his mouth to interrupt.
He never got the chance.
I moved around the oak coffee table, ignoring the sharp discomfort radiating through my lower back.
My oversized maternity shirt didn’t matter.
Neither did exhaustion.
My body responded automatically.
Shoulders straight.
Chin level.
Heels together.
Thirty-eight weeks pregnant with David’s child, I stood at attention.
The officers stepped inside.
Richard stumbled backward, his face turning blotchy red with frustration at being ignored in his own living room.
The chaplain slowly removed his cap.
The captain held a dark sealed folder, his knuckles pale against its leather binding.
“The Secretary of the Army has asked me to express his deep regret.”
The words entered the room.
But everything inside my head changed.
The air seemed to disappear.
Route clearance.
Night operation.
An improvised explosive device.
Sergeant First Class David Ellis.
Killed in action.
My peripheral vision darkened until I could see only the shining brass buttons on the captain’s uniform.
A metallic ringing filled my ears.
The room appeared to tilt.
Then our baby kicked hard against my ribs, a painful reminder that part of David was still alive inside me.
I kept my spine straight.