“The stylist told her that if she wanted to donate the maximum amount, she would have to cut it very short.”
I could barely speak.
“Did she cry?”
Linda nodded.
“Not because she regretted cutting it.”
“Then why?”
“Because she was scared you would be disappointed.”
That was when I completely broke down.
I sat beside Linda and began to cry.
Not because Emily had cut her hair.
Not because I was angry anymore.
I cried because I suddenly understood how much my little girl had been carrying inside her.
She had spent years growing that hair.
She had loved it.
And then she had willingly given it away because she believed someone else needed it more.
And all the while, she had been terrified that her mother would be angry with her.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the moment she’d stood in front of me with that oversized hoodie pulled over her head.
She hadn’t been hiding a haircut.
She had been hiding her fear of disappointing me.
I immediately got up.
“I need to go home.”
Linda nodded.
When I returned, Emily was still sitting on her bed.
She looked at me nervously.
“Mom?”
I walked over and knelt in front of her.
She looked down.
“I’m sorry.”
Those two words shattered my heart.
I gently lifted her chin.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“But your face…”
“What about my face?”
“When you saw my hair, you looked shocked.”
“I was shocked because I thought someone had hurt you.”
She stared at me.
Then I hugged her.
“I could never be disappointed in you for doing something kind.”
She started crying.
“I wanted to help Sophie.”
“I know.”
“I thought maybe if I gave her my hair, she could have hair again.”
I held her tighter.
“That was incredibly brave.”
She pulled away slightly.
“Are you really not mad?”
“Mad?”
I shook my head.
“Emily, I’m proud of you.”
She started crying harder.
So did I.
Then she whispered, “I was scared you’d think I looked ugly.”
I felt my heart break all over again.
I touched her short hair gently.
“You could shave your head completely and you’d still be my beautiful girl.”
She smiled through her tears.
Then she asked, “Do you really mean that?”
“With all my heart.”
We sat there together for a long time.
Eventually, Emily showed me a photograph of her freshly cut hair before it had been sent away.
She told me how nervous she had been sitting in the salon chair.
“But when the stylist made the first cut,” she said, “I felt happy.”
“Why?”
“Because I knew it wasn’t just hair anymore.”
I smiled.
“You’re right.”
“It was something I could give.”
That night, we called Linda.
She had already helped Emily complete the donation process.
The hair would be sent to an organization that creates wigs for people who have lost their hair because of medical treatment.
Before going to bed, Emily stood in front of the mirror.
She touched the back of her head.
“I kind of like it,” she admitted.
I laughed softly.
“I do too.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
She grinned.