Mara looked at me strangely. “So you really don’t know what he left you?”
That sentence scared me more than the cardigan ever had.
I snatched the envelope.
Jack asked me to bring you this.
Jack’s handwriting was on the first page.
‘Claire,
I’m sorry you’re learning this without me.
There’s a five-year-old boy named Ethan.
You don’t owe him anything. If you want to stop here, stop.
But if you find him, you’ll understand why I couldn’t walk away.
I’m sorry I never told you.’
That sentence scared me.
I read it twice.
“Ethan who?”
Mara said nothing.
“Is Ethan your son?”
“No.”
There’s a five-year-old boy named Ethan.
“Were you sleeping with Jack?”
“No.”
“Then who is he?”
“I can’t tell you.”
I actually laughed. “You come to a pregnant widow’s house with a letter from her dead husband telling her to find a five-year-old boy, and you can’t tell me who he is?”
‘I’m sorry I never told you.’
“Jack wanted you to decide whether to keep looking.”
“Why?”
“Because once you know, you can’t unknow it.”
“Stop talking like you’re in a movie.”
She flinched. “You’re right.”
I can’t tell you.
“Who are you?”
“I grew up in care. Jack and I knew each other from the children’s home.”
That stopped me.
Jack almost never talked about those years.
“You knew him as a kid?”
Stop talking like you’re in a movie.
“Yes.”
“And now?”
“I work with families and children moving through the system.”
“Was that why you were at the hospital?”
“I was helping him locate Ethan and understand what options existed.”
I grew up in care.
I swallowed. “Then whose child is Ethan?”
Mara shook her head. “I promised Jack I wouldn’t tell you who Ethan was.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Maybe. But he wanted you to decide whether you wanted to keep looking. He didn’t want me putting another responsibility in your lap the week he died.”
I was helping him locate Ethan.
“Did he have another family?”
“That’s exactly the question Jack made me promise not to answer.”
“So that’s a yes.”
“It means if you want the answer, you have to keep looking.”
Then she left.
By the time Mara left, I was convinced Jack had a son.
I wouldn’t tell you who Ethan was.
***
